It is the eve of Christmas Eve, and preparations are finally complete. I usually try to do my last minute shopping on Amazon, since it’s easier than dealing with lines at the mall, but this was a particularly tricky year. Not tricky enough to plan ahead, of course. That would be too thoughtful.

If you’re getting a gift from me and you read the above paragraph, be assured that it applies to everyone else’s gifts, not yours. Your gift was extremely well thought out and took months of planning. It took three walkabouts, two psychic readings, and a trip through the Himalayas to determine the best gift for you, and I journeyed thousands of miles to deliver it.

That last part is actually true. You’re welcome.

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