We are building you up, we know. That is the design. All will be revealed in due time. That time being Monday.

The “Terror-tacular” is meant to be a fictional event based on the various Halloween themed nights of terror that theme parks put on. I went to the Knott’s Scary Farm a few years ago, and it’s much more than a haunted house. People in masks wander the park and do their best to scare the shit out of attendees.

Universal Hollywood also has its Halloween Horror Nights. My sources tell me that Universal’s offering has a much higher production value, while the staff at Knott’s is more exuberant in their scare tactics. I believe it. One of the guys at Knott’s had an actual chainsaw. One of our group spent the entire night scared to the point that she might have been in an actual horror movie.

I am not a big fan of theme park rides, so the mazes are my favorite part of these events, even though they are more like tunnels. They can’t really be mazes, because crowds of lost people bumping into each other would be extremely inconvenient. If you want to solve a maze, pick up a copy of Highlights.