Every so often a game company comes up with a technology a little too tertiary to our gaming needs. Remember the Wii Vitality Sensor? Where did that go? Someone at Nintendo apparently realized that it wouldn’t find much use, unless you count it calling paramedics when you have a heart attack while playing Wii Fit.

If we were making comics back when that announcement went out, we probably would have invented peripherals that take your temperature, or take blood samples. Can you imagine if such a thing malfunctioned and just kept taking more blood until you were completely drained? I guess that’s not funny at all.

Or is it?

Anyway, normally we’d applaud new control methods, but this one is just a little too strange and creepifying. A controller that knows who is touching it reminds me of the Japanese game that used facial recognition with a camera so that the girls in the game recognized the player and formed attachments to them.

Now imagine that those girls are the controller and they recognize you based on how you touch them. You’re welcome.

In general it’s not very useful to have advanced recognition techniques, when you can hit a few buttons to log into a personal profile on the Xbox. It’s not like there is sensitive data in this profile to hide or lock away. Besides which, there are few instances where other people play on my Xbox, given the emphasis on online play. If people are coming over, we’re probably playing something on the Wii.